so most of the changes i have been focusing have been around the baby.
What do we need to do to get ready?
What should we do with the nursery?
What do we need to buy?
How do you breastfeed? Should we breast feed? etc...
now i am beginning to realize how much I am going to need to change.
first of all, since i will not be returning to work. I am going to have to get use to not having "me money". this means that i will have to learn how not to shop for fun, out of boredom, out of depression etc. this means that although i have been good on a budget, our budget is going to shrink considerably and i will have to relearn the word "necessity".
I will be looking for a job I can do at home, I'm thinking medical billing- however that takes about 4 months to get certified and I still have a semester of college to finish.
Second of all, since i will be a stay at home mom. I will have to learn to like to stay at home. This is a big fear for me. I've always been out doing stuff, shopping for stuff, planning stuff, hanging out with people, etc. hermit life is frightening! How will i handle it? Will i have cabin fever? Will i resent the baby?
Thirdly, its not going to be about me anymore. I can admit it, I am somewhat of a selfish person. Well probably more than somewhat to be honest. I focus on what can make me happy, what do i want to do, what do i need, how do i look. I've made room for Dyrs and luckily he is a low-maintenance husband who likes his space. the baby on the other hand is going to need my undivided attention, love, and time. On one hand I am afraid of loosing myself, on the other hand I am afraid that I won't give enough. How am I going to feel when it's not about me?
Maybe its just excessive worry or fear of the unknown and I will probably do just fine. Right now I am just fearing the adjustment... it won't be the life of laur anymore. It will be the life of the owens family. am i ready for that?
My life and the journey thus far
- Laur
- Mother, daughter, sister, friend. Child of Christ, liver of life (haha that sounds funny)
Sunday, April 20, 2008
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3 comments:
I think it's natural to have these fears. ANd I think you'll move past them as soon as you see that little face that you'll fall in love with.
One suggestion I do have is to not suddenly change your habits... you can still shop. But do it with only 5 dollars and make it a challenge to buy something you love with that 5 dollars.
I would also not suddenly go into a hermit lifestyle... that seems like a recipe for depression. Instead, maybe find cheap/free things to do to get out. Have a picnic. Go to free parks and sit out by the beach. Take the baby out for a walk with your friends, etc. Just don't hole up and be too solitary. It's not your nature.
When I first went freelance I was totally broke. I asked for suggestions on what to do for free. Here's a list: http://penelopeillustration.com/projects/inexpensive/inexpensive.html
Maybe that'll help you too!
Love you Laur!
pen
It will take a little time to adjust just like everything else. The first weeks are very demanding of your time and sleep. I know this sounds silly but you can practice by carrying a doll around with you most of the time. Also you are having a baby at a GREAT time of year, you can start getting out right away and the temps will be nice. Also you can learn to do home hobbies besides working...scrapbooking, food canning, whatever. You'll do great, I'm sure :) Jan
Whenever you feel caged up, drag the baby down to good ol' Royalwood Drive. Ali needs her baby fix, and it'll be cool to hang out with you. I'll buy your first tank of gas!
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